School-life.biz

It was really funny; a few days ago I went to my children’s room and I found them watching one episode from “My teen’s a nightmare, I’m moving out”! So this sort of was surprising for me, seeing myself on screen some years ago, and looking at the future open out before me –and I had already forgotten so much about it. Certainly the kids think everything is hilarious and they find great enjoyment in saying, “Mom you say this at home, Mom you make all that noise if you are angry with us”…

Nevertheless, the most striking thing was observing the parents as well as the teenagers interacting, watching in time of dazzling light the problem…. the problem that in some way I missed while I was doing my programme…and it was the real difference in fundamental needs. If, being parents, we could seize this idea before the teen age, in that case I believe they would be much easier.

So let me explain something to you. In Choice Theory created by William Glasser, the author states that in any relationship we have a number of basic needs and when our needs somehow differ from our partner’s ones, parent, teacher and so on., in that case we will be discontented and our thus behaviour will become completely irrational. The majority of relationship problems are because of the struggle between our basic needs and getting that needs met in the relationship.

The first need is survival, and modern people are very lucky that their need is met, nevertheless, if this was not the case, subsequently it would take priority over all others. If we abruptly lost our house and were on the streets without money, then the detail that our teen may respond in, actually, a less than wanted way would seem insignificant.